How A Six-And-A-Half-Foot Tall Nerd From Indiana Became A Carpet Cleaning Rockstar
I was reeling, dazed and mere moments away from a full-scale swoon. Everything I’d worked so hard for was crumbling before my eyes. Unraveling, my vision blurred and my grasp on reality began to slip.
You see, I’d just spent three hours cleaning Mrs. Wiemann’s carpet. And oh, how lovely were the results! I’d transformed her soiled living room carpet into a thing of beauty. To this day, I still remember how I lovingly detailed all the edges, scraping pet hair and dirt from along the baseboards.
I remember spending extra time flushing as much soil from the carpet as possible. I remember crawling behind her massive entertainment cabinet to suck up a heinous collection of dust bunnies and candy wrappers, and I remember every artful measure taken to ensure a lightning fast dry time.
After all, this is my exact approach on every job.
But now, agape in wide-eyed horror, I watched as my meticulous work was destroyed in a matter of seconds.
Mrs. Wiemann’s raucous pack of howling basset hounds had broken into the house through the back door. Earlier, she’d placed them outside so I could perform my cleaning duties. But somehow, the hounds had wormed their way in just as I was about to leave.
Their plump, mud-caked paws left horrifying sodden tracks across the freshly cleaned carpet. In short, the living room was destroyed.
I admit I was rattled, but I’m not one to sit around feeling sorry for myself. As Mrs. Wiemann frantically swept the hounds outside, I began to drag my tools and equipment back out of the van. Yes, I had literally just finished packing everything away and was ready to head to lunch. And no, it wasn’t my fault these canine tormentors had ruined my work. However, I wasn’t about to leave Mrs. Wiemann’s carpet looking worse than before I’d arrived.
I recleaned the entire room, taking great care to make it look impeccable.
Of course, Mrs. Wiemann felt terrible and insisted I accept extra payment for my troubles. I politely refused, only wanting her to be happy with her freshly cleaned carpet. However, I did accept her top secret tomato sauce recipe, which my wife still uses to this day. And I assure you, it is delicious.
The point is, the only thing I care about is giving you absolute perfection, and I will make sure that’s exactly what happens, even to my own detriment.
How did I develop this philosophy?
When I started cleaning carpet in September of 1998, I was immediately obsessed with all the tiny little details. What people don’t realize is, it’s easy to clean the middle of a room—I mastered that in the first week.
The real challenge is the dozens of seemingly insignificant details that are usually overlooked. They can actually make or break the end result of any given job.
For example, edges must be hand-detailed. Stubborn stains must be treated and removed. Stray carpet fibers must be clipped. The carpet must be perfectly groomed—the list goes on and on.
On their own, these details don't seem like a big deal. But when dozens of them are overlooked, they snowball into an atrocity against cleanliness, which I simply cannot abide.
Most professional cleaners never progress beyond the basic skills. They never learn how to address the many fine details that demand attention, and therefore, they achieve only mediocre results.
It is the fanatical, methodical obsession for details that sets the true carpet cleaning heroes apart from the pretenders. And I’m happy to inform you, dear reader, I have transcended the basic skills to achieve bona fide rockstar status.
Am I bragging? Yes, unabashedly. But not to make myself look good. No, I brag to save you from the lousy results you might receive from some of my competitors. It pains me to know folks could have had me clean their carpet, but instead they were tricked into inferior service (usually due to low prices).
No other carpet cleaning service in Indianapolis rivals my attention to detail, nor do they have my natural orange-based cleaning agents.
That’s why I’ve got a list as long as my arm of people who’ve been using my services for over a decade. It’s like they say: Once you go orange, you never go… you never go…
CONFOUND IT! It's REALLY inconvenient that nothing rhymes with "orange".
Anyway, let me tell you a little about myself... The first four years of my life were spent on the east side of Indy, near 14th Street and Shadeland. On my fourth birthday, we moved to a tiny house in rural Noblesville. That’s where I was raised, and I spent more time in the woods than I did inside.
Because of that, I still love the outdoors. I'd rather be fishing than binge-watching Netflix.
I’ve been married to my hot wife Kelly since September of 2000. (Fun fact: Our ninth anniversary was on 09/09/09!)
We built a house in Fishers and lived there for 10 years, then moved to the south side to be closer to Kelly’s parents. My parents had left Noblesville for Bonita Springs, Florida, so nothing was keeping us on the north side.
Our little girl, Tessa, came along in 2008 and then our boy Tyler in 2012.
We live in the Homecroft area on the south side, but most of my work is on the north side. Almost every morning I drive to Fishers, Carmel or Noblesville.
I like to fish, demolish friends and family at Jeopardy (no mercy!) and play with my kids. But what I really, really want to do is clean your carpet. I’ve got a van full of harmless, natural, orange-based cleaning agents and I’m ready to head your way.
To get the ball rolling, would you like a coupon which may be used for any of my services? Fill out this simple form and I'll send it to you right away: